Baby Bradshaw – Week 21

Recently I mentioned to a friend that I was feeling emotional over the weekend, to which she asked ‘why?’ Which is a perfectly reasonable question, unless the person you’re asking is pregnant because the answer is ‘Because everything.’ 

Luckily this is a friend that I can be totally open with, but most of the time when people ask how I’m doing the default response is ‘Great! Just tired.’ 

The reality is, no one really wants to know that I can’t sleep because I wake up in pain no matter what position I’m in. And that lack of sleep makes me feel raw and unable to cope with the smallest of hiccups in my day. Then I realize that in 4.5 months I really won’t be sleeping at all and I’m terrified of not sleeping and not knowing how to comfort my baby and what if I can’t breastfeed and what if the dogs hate the baby and what if I can’t bear to leave it and go back to work?

That verbal mess is the reason I go with ‘Great! Just tired.’ In my limited experience as a pregnant women, other people just want to hear how happy you are to be growing a person. I actually had an acquaintance complain to me about her pregnant friend who complains to her. “She did this to herself!” she told me. 

I just nodded and said ‘Pregnancy is hard, try to cut her some slack.’ But really I was thinking about things this friend complains about that she probably brought on herself. Even though that friend chose to become pregnant, and even though it will be worth it when her baby is here, it doesn’t mean that pregnancy isn’t incredibly challenging, and just like any other challenge we go through in life, sometimes we want to vent a little and have a friend sympathize. The argument isn’t worth it. 

So, week 21 has just been emotional. Hopefully things lift soon. 

Baby Bradshaw – Week 20

We have a crib! Technically, we’ve had a crib since my sister in law offered it to us – but now it’s in our home. And in 4.5 (hopefully) short months there will be a baby in it.

Even though I feel like I’ve been showing for a while, it’s only this week that others are noticing the little bump. The most common reaction I get is ‘You can’t be 20 weeks!’

But I am. 

I feel huge and uncomfortable, and it’s hard to hear others say I don’t look big enough. At the same time, maybe this means all the weight I’m gaining isn’t that noticeable?

Sleeping is the biggest challenge right now, and just getting comfortable. Every time I eat I get short of breath, and I feel like I need to spread out and lay down. I also keep sleeping on my back, and even though it doesn’t bother me yet I know it’s not good for the baby. It’s hard to get into a good position to sleep in, and I wake up several times during the night with an aching back or hips. 

I just keep reminding myself that I’m now more than halfway through! 

Baby Bradshaw – Week 19

All I can think about is the fact that I’m almost halfway done! I’m hoping the last 20 weeks will fly by. Before getting pregnant I had a hunch I wouldn’t be one of those glowing earthy mother types, and I was right. 

As much as I love our little baby, and as excited and grateful as I am to be able to go through this experience, I’m really ready for it to be over. I know that motherhood will bring a whole host of worries and discomforts, but I think they’ll be outweighed by actually having our little one here with us.

I’ve been feeling much better the last several weeks – I’m rarely nauseated or dizzy anymore. My appetite waxes and wanes…some days I’m hungry and snacking all day, other days I have to force three meals down.