Dear Lucy – Month Eight

Oh, Lucy Bear. My heart aches when I look at you – you’re becoming such a big girl!

You’ve progressed from ‘hey da’ to all sorts of noises, yays, tatatas and screeches. You love to fake cough. It’s hilarious. People don’t believe you do it until they hear it. When we feed you, your ‘mmm’s and ‘numnumnum’ chanting is unbearable. You are the cutest.

Dad and I just stare at you and say to each other how stunning you are. You take our breath away every day.

You love to whisper to some of your toys. You crawled once, but never since. It was to get to a dog toy. You love the remotes, and we joke that you spend half your time awake trying to get to them. You’ll dance a little when there is music on, and you still love when I sing to you. 

You learned to give kisses the other day (a day before you turned 8 months) and it was heartbreaking. I’d had a horrible day and you grabbed my face and planted the most tender little kiss on my lips. I shouted for Dad, and then you did it again. Somehow you knew I needed it. 

Dear Lucy – Month Six

I can’t believe you’re half a year old! I don’t know that I’ve ever wanted time to speed up and slow down at the same time – but I do. Every new skill you learn is amazing to watch, but it’s also a constant reminder that you are constantly changing. When I look at you, you aren’t my tiny little baby anymore, and it’s crushing and wonderful in the same breath.

You continue to be frustrated with how dependent you are to move around, but you’re starting to get the hang of scooting on your tummy to turn in different directions. You grab your feet and knees a lot, but haven’t put them in your mouth yet. Which is great – because the dogs love to steal kisses there.

We gave you a first taste of banana, not enough to count as eating, just to get a taste and you loved it. Green beans were a different matter. I’m not sure why I decided that would be the first thing I actually tried to feed you, but it was a mistake. I’ve never seen you look so betrayed! Banana was much better received a few days later, but you just don’t love solids yet.

A couple weeks ago we bought your first high chair, and you love it. I think it makes a difference to be closer to eye level, you feel like you’re part of the action. You still need to be supported to sit up, but I’m hoping that will change in the next couple weeks. I think you’ll be a happier baby when you feel more independent.

Every night when I put you to bed, I rock you and sing you the same songs in the same order:
1. Edelweiss
2. I Will (The Beatles)
3. Yesterday (The Beatles)
4. In My Life (The Beatles)
5. Lullaby (Billy Joel)

If I get the timing of bed time right, you’re starting to fall asleep at the end of In My Life, and sound asleep by the end of Lullaby. Sometimes I’m tempted to stay in your room all night and hold you while you sleep, because I know the days of falling asleep in my arms are numbered. Even if you still do it at age three, I’m sure I’ll miss it when you’re 15 and too cool to let me tuck you in.

You ‘talk’ a lot – babbling for attention when you’re playing, and sometimes when you’re getting a bottle as well. Your eyes are still blue, and if they’re going to change it’ll be in the next few months. I hope they stay big and bright.

The other night, I was showing Dad photos of you I’d taken when he wasn’t there, and he clicked on the monitor screen and said ‘I miss her, let’s wake her up’. Does that give you an idea of how much you are loved?

You continue to be the happiest of babies, smiling and giggling at everyone, and we are so grateful for you.

Dear Lucy – Month Four

We’ve seen more changes in you this last month than all three prior. You routinely roll from tummy to back, and you are working hard on back to tummy (though I don’t think that will happen for another couple months). Suddenly you don’t mind tummy time, which is great because you’ve got a little bald spot on the back of your head from all the sleeping you do.

Speaking of sleeping – you’re a champ! We haven’t yet hit the dreaded 4 month sleep regression..and I’m hoping we skip it. You take great naps during the day, and a couple weeks ago you started sleeping 7:30-4-6. You slept easily through 4th of July fireworks, and through the AC repairman setting off the smoke alarm right next to wear you were sleeping. I was so proud.

You continue to be the chattiest baby I’ve ever known, and you recently started yelling at the dogs and watching them. Ridley can’t wait until we let him play with you, and Midas is…starting to come around to the idea.

Somehow you went from a tiny baby to a little person and it’s really strange but also wonderful. You try to hold your bottles and tip them up so you can drink faster. You have this funny belly laugh that Grandma thinks is hilarious. Everyone who sees you comments on your big blue eyes and how happy you are. The other day we facetimed with pra bopcha and she couldn’t get over how intelligent you are and how talkative. We facetime with Bopcha and Dziadek every week, and they can’t wait to see you in a few weeks.

Everyday there is something new about you to love, Lucy Bear. We’re so lucky to have you.

Dear Lucy – Month Three

This month you went on your first trip to the cabin. It could have gone more smoothly, but you did really well napping and sleeping in the pack and play. Next time we’ll be able to go into Midway and walk around a bit, which I think you’ll enjoy more than being cooped up all day.

Every day we see more and more of your personality, and the things you like and don’t like. You went through a rough patch where you weren’t napping, but it seems like that’s over now. Dad and I know we are so lucky to have such a happy baby. You are content to sit in your swing or bouncer if we need to get something done, or even just be held and walked around the house.

Now that you are three months old, you are no longer a newborn, and we can take you out more. Unfortunately, the weather has been too hot to make that happen.

Two days before you turned 3 months I went back to work, and you hung out with Anne and Grandma. It seemed like you had a great time, and I’m glad you’re so adaptable. I hate leaving you every morning.

You love getting a bath, but you hate the time between the end of the bath and when you’re warm and dry again. You love when we make ghost noises, and sometimes when we tickle you. You recently started reaching for toys, grabbing them and bringing them to your face. You also try to roll over from your back to tummy, but can’t quite figure it out. You still hate tummy time. You really fight against the swaddle, but you still wake yourself up so you aren’t done quite yet with it. I’ve never known a baby as chatty as you are – I can’t wait until you start talking!

You still spend a good five minutes stretching every time we wake you up – I hope you never outgrow it. You have smiles for everyone, and are so close to laughing.

We love you, Lucy Bear, and can’t wait to see what happens next!

Happy 2016!

Sometime around Thanksgiving I decided that it would be a great idea to throw a New Years Eve party. Because when you’re six months pregnant, the holiday you choose to celebrate should really be the late night one, not something easy like Easter which is typically celebrated mid-afternoon. 

I tend to stress over parties and convince myself that I don’t have enough food and that no one will show up. Which is funny because if I don’t think anyone will show I’m not sure who I need more food for. Needless to say, I overdo it on the food and drinks and end up drowning in leftovers, but it was a great night. Turns out, staying up until 2:30am when you’re six months pregnant is the equivalent to drinking nonstop until 2:30am when you aren’t pregnant. So yesterday morning was rough. 

Luckily, we had no plans and indulged in a lazy day binging Parks & Rec on Netflix, eating junk, and talking about what we want to do this year.

Really, my only ‘resolution’ for the year is to bring Baby Bradshaw into the world. But we decided to add a couple others, just for fun:

1. Have a baby

2. Snuggle the dogs more

3. Write a sci-fi-western-comedy screenplay

Here’s to a wonderful new year, a healthy baby, and happy dogs! 

This was 30.

This year I…

Bought a house. Dressed up as a jellyfish for Halloween. Came down with pneumonia. Wore pajamas that matched my dog’s. Went to San Francisco. A lot. Reconnected with a cherished friend. Adopted a second dog. Renovated our master bedroom. Painted a lot of furniture. Visited Portland. Sister-ed hard. Changed jobs. Ate really delicious food. Watched too much Netflix. Crocheted a blanket. Got pregnant. Celebrated weddings, birthdays and births. Realized age is just a number. 

A real grownup

Reader, we bought a house. And have been working nonstop all weekend on making it a home. 

We started looking in October and after looking at a bunch of duds we found THE ONE. Hardwood floors, big open kitchen and living area, a pantry I could sleep in, fireplace, fenced in yard, the works. Offered below asking and just like that we were under contract! Until we weren’t…

As it turns out, that house was not THE ONE. See, it turns out one of the owners had been indicted for 5 counts of tax fraud, pled guilty, and had just filed for bankruptcy. Oops! If you’ve ever fallen in love with a house and imagined it as your home, you can understand the heartbreak we felt when we were told that we couldn’t buy the house. Many tears were shed. (All by me, none by Chris.) 

I took some time to lick my wounds (and confirm with Chris’s parents that we could move into their basement if we didn’t find a place before our lease was up), and eventually we got back to looking for our starter house. Second time around, even more duds! But this time I was emotionally disconnected from the process. No longer was I looking for my dream house, or a house I LOVED. We just wanted a house in a good neighborhood, in good condition, with enough space. Anything beyond that was icing on the cake. 

Obviously we found a place. And I love it. Right this moment I’m looking out the big picture window in the front room at our neighbor’s Christmas lights, waiting for Chris to get home with sushi. There is still a lot of work to be done (we still have plenty of stuff at our old apartment) but so far we are very happy with our little house. Beyond the list of immediate things to be done are a hundred changes we want to make. For now, though, my focus is getting us out of boxes and into Christmas trees! 

Failing Forward

I’ve been known, at times in my life, to take on too much. See also: signing up for a half marathon while I’m planning a wedding, traveling 2x a month for work and starting an independent business. 

Am I too ambitious? ADD? The world may never know. But I did it again. I posted about starting a Whole 30, and made it 8.5 days into it before falling off the wagon. In my defense, I was at a funeral and emotions were running high. And did I mentioned we’re under contract for a house? These are all excuses, true. 

I failed. That is what it comes down to. Do I regret the croissant I bit into that day, ending my streak of Whole30 perfection? Not one bite. I learned so much from this failure. I fully intend on trying Whole30 again when I can devote preparation time to it, when I’m not setting myself up for failure by traveling 3 days into it. I believe in the science behind it, and using it was a reset to get my body to baseline and understand what I react well to and what I react poorly to. 

But for now? I’m not beating myself up. I’m just failing forward. 

PS: I did not eat that ice cream cone, but I wish I had one.

Why I’m Doing a Whole 30

“Isn’t that paleo?”

That was a question a coworker asked me the other day about my Whole 30, and because I was busy that day I just replied, “Nope.” But really, I should have given her a better explanation. Or directed her to read It Starts With Food. (Which you really should read.)

Have you ever read a horoscope and felt like it was exactly describing your life and/or current situation? That’s what I felt like reading It Starts With Food. Seriously. I had been feeling pretty crappy off and on for months. It happens every so often and I ignore and eventually start to feel better, but then I came down with pneumonia and it felt like the last straw. I felt unhealthy. And this is coming from someone who eats pretty well and works out. 

I won’t try to explain all the science behind Whole 30, but I will say that the Hartwigs (who wrote the book) make their reasoning clear. They don’t eliminate foods because it’s the way cavemen ate – they eliminate foods that can be problematic. 

What attracted me to the Whole 30 is that it’s a nutritional reset. 30 days eating whole foods and avoiding those that are physically or psychologically bad for you in order to heal your gut, tame the sugar dragon, and change your relationship with food.

So, why am I doing a Whole 30? What do I hope to accomplish?

  • Improved digestion
  • Better sleep
  • More energy during the day
  • Break my sugar addiction (this is my BIGGEST goal)
  • Heal this weird patch of dry skin/eczema on my elbow that I can’t get rid of (TMI?)
  • Learn to eat more intuitively

Non-goals (is that a thing?)

  • Lose weight.

See that? I am not doing this to lose weight. For maybe the first time in my life, I am more focused on my HEALTH than I am my weight. I am happy with how my body looks – now I need to work on healing it. I can’t promise I’ll always be quite so self-accepting, but I am enjoying it for now.

Can I just say….the Whole 30 is hard! In the grand scheme, I know that it isn’t. But when you’re traveling 3 days into a totally new way of eating, it’s pretty difficult. I’m excited to get back to Salt Lake, get back in the kitchen and experiment with more new recipes!


My 30th Year in Review

Today is my 30th birthday. For years, I feared this day. I’m not sure where that fear came from (Chris thinks I’m crazy for this) but it has long felt like this birthday would signal the end of my youth. 

The past couple months, I’ve really started to embrace this birthday. It might be the end of my youth, that might be true. But even if it is, it’s been a great (though often bumpy) ride. If I look back on this year I have a lot to be proud of, and I am happy with the direction I’m moving in. 

This past year…

  • I moved in for the first time with a boy(!)
  • I showed Chris New York
  • Chris met my parents and many of my closest friends
  • We got engaged on the Brooklyn Bridge
  • I learned to like eggs
  • I committed to long term health and fitness
  • I started an independent business as a Beachbody coach to help other people reach their goals and end the trend of obesity
  • I ran my first half marathon (2:23)
  • I started this blog
  • I re-learned to crochet and finished a scarf
  • I took an online photography course to learn to use my DSLR
  • I married the man of my dreams, the love of my life, my whole world in front of our loved ones
  • Chris and I honeymooned in Cabo (and left just one day before a hurricane hit)
  • I spent countless hours with a tiny white dog sleeping on me
  • Chris and I started looking for a house
  • I made a huge career decision (can’t talk about it quite yet) that I’m so excited about
  • I watched WAY too many hours of Netflix
  • I learned not to give a fuck what other people think (ok, started learning)

That last one is pretty important to me. For so long I lived putting thoughts about me in other peoples’ heads. I imagined what they were thinking or what they said about me. And then I realized…they probably don’t care what I do, or wear, or what I look like. Which is a very freeing thought. 

Anyway – here’s to another monumental year. Can’t wait to see what my 30s have to offer.